A case of "You just can't make this up."

[PSYCtest040]

So we respond to one of the nursing homes in our area for a male with chest pains. On arrival we're met by an LPN who gives us a brief report. The patient was in the lock down dementia ward surrounded by aids and an LPN student.

I start to take vitals, listen to lungs and heart sounds while my partner is setting up the monitor. I reported vitals and what I believed to be an S3 gallop and asked my partner to confirm. He grabs the scope and starts to listen as I get the leads on. As he is listening to heart sounds the LPN student proudly announces to the aids, "He is listening to the a-fib and heard skipped beats." Say what??????? Did I just hear you right??????? I had a few snarky comments running through my head but was busy trying to contain my laughter. Good thing my partner didn't hear her.

After we get him on the monitor my partner asks me what I see. I reported a-fib at a rate of 102. The LPN student puts her hands on her hips and snorts "That is what I said and what you heard." What???????

After the 12 lead acquires and prints the LPN student reaches over, rips the strip off and proudly announces "Looks fine to me." Really??????? Who the hell are you????????? My partner is about to bitch slap her and I'm starting to laugh out loud as he snorts "Ahhhhhhhh...... honey, the strip is upside down. Why don't you stop wasting calories trying to act smart and let the real health care professionals treat the patient?"

That's it I lost it started laughing my ass off as she is slinking away with tail between the legs.

Nothing like paid entertainment.

[traumajunkyems/fire]

Niiiiice... are you working with Scott, cause I can see him doing that!

LMFAO!!!

Can you hear my sinus arrhythmia, and my supposed murmer?

[randal]

Nothing like paid entertainment.

I ran a NH call and the patient was in full arrest. They were doing chest compressions and had NC O2 going at about 15LPM for ventilation (no, I'm not kidding).

I'm hooking up the EKG and starting my line. My partner has just dropped his tube and started bagging the patient. One of the nurses (?) saw the chest rise and says "look! He is breathing!".

Hard to make that stick when you are laughing your ass off.

[PSYCtest040]

Niiiiice... are you working with Scott, cause I can see him doing that!

No Lee.

[traumajunkyems/fire]

No Lee.

Even better!!!

[PSYCtest040]

Hard to make that stick when you are laughing your ass off.

The only thing that poped into my head was using the EZ-IO to drill into the nurses head. ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!

[fyrfytr]

I think it's cool when they hook a NC at 15lpm 'cause it makes their nostrils flair.I also like the NH staff that calls us for low O2 "stats" and they have pt. on 2 lpm by NC with about 25 ft. of tubing.Also,I backed a crew up on a code(the medic was my wife so I had to go) and the nurse was calling out what was on the monitor.My wife looked at the nurse and asked her "What pt. are YOU looking at?"Gotta love that woman.

[wvditchdoc]

I got called to a NH one night for a "Cardiac Arrest" call, it was about 0200. Call came in as CPR in progress, no DNR, short down time. We finally find the room in the maze of hallways and walk in on the staff performing CPR on the bed. The patient was a sixty year old, little skinny fellow; so it wasn't like they couldn't move him on the floor. As I cleared the door into the room, I heard a funny noise each time they were pumping his chest......it was him expressing his extreme displeasure with the chest compressions since he had a pulse and was attempting to breathe on his own. When I asked why the hell they were doing CPR on this poor old man, they replied that he wasn't breathing and they couldn't find a pulse initially.

"Well he has one now, so fucking stop!"

Good quality medical care.......shoot me in the head before you ever think about putting me in a damn nursing home!

[SpotsyMedic]

Didn't run this call, but heard the exchange on the radio...

Call was dispatched for a "man down... unresponsive... CPR in progress." This was followed a few minutes later by "Caller reports that patient is combative... is sitting up... assaulting the bystanders who are attempting to perform CPR..."

You could hear the laughter in the background in the dispatch center. We almost cried laughing, and had to drive by the scene just to see the bruhaha.

[PSYCtest040]

I got called to a NH one night for a "Cardiac Arrest" call, it was about 0200. Call came in as CPR in progress, no DNR, short down time. We finally find the room in the maze of hallways and walk in on the staff performing CPR on the bed. The patient was a sixty year old, little skinny fellow; so it wasn't like they couldn't move him on the floor. As I cleared the door into the room, I heard a funny noise each time they were pumping his chest......it was him expressing his extreme displeasure with the chest compressions since he had a pulse and was attempting to breathe on his own. When I asked why the hell they were doing CPR on this poor old man, they replied that he wasn't breathing and they couldn't find a pulse initially.

"Well he has one now, so fucking stop!"

Good quality medical care.......shoot me in the head before you ever think about putting me in a damn nursing home!

Dispatched to a female with respiratory distress. Updates enroute is patient has stopped breathing and CPR instructions are being given. Fire and BLS on scene eight minutes before arrival. As we pull up first thing I see is five firefighters and two EMT's outside the front door laughing their asses off. I look at my partner and say "Hummm that's strange, all the manpower is outside, laughing." The fire chief approaches us, still giggling, and says "Well, it ain't a code, you just have to go in and see for yourself." Now my partner and I are totally confused and decide to enter the house. Once in the house were presented with a little woman, visibly pissed off, shouting, "What the fuck, I'm trying to sleep on the god damned couch and the next thing I know my asshole of a husband is pressing on my chest!!!!!"

Yea, turns out both the woman and her husband were heavily intoxicated. He thought she stopped breathing and called 911.

Best part was when we ran into another crew at the hospital later, the paramedic asked how our code went. I said "Eh, we signed her off." and walked away. A quick glance over my shoulder I saw her with jaw hanging wide open and the deer caught in the head lights look on her face.

Didn't run this call, but heard the exchange on the radio...

Call was dispatched for a "man down... unresponsive... CPR in progress." This was followed a few minutes later by "Caller reports that patient is combative... is sitting up... assaulting the bystanders who are attempting to perform CPR..."

You could hear the laughter in the background in the dispatch center. We almost cried laughing, and had to drive by the scene just to see the bruhaha.

Heard this over the radio a few years ago from one of the vollie agencies. Brockport, 2319 to respond, priority 2 for the 88 YO female with.....<insert giggling here>...a rec....<insert chuckling here>.....with a rect.......<insert full blown laughter here>....ahhh the hell with it, just read your pagers. I almost drove of the road I was laughing so hard. Turns out that dispatcher was fired within the hour.