[PSYCtest040]

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot.

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're pitched, you're so queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as camp as a row of tents. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free arse passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are poofter.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to beep at a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being an ass puncher.

[fdnyemt5330]

Originally Posted by PSYCtest040

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot.

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're pitched, you're so queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as camp as a row of tents. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free arse passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are poofter.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to beep at a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being an ass puncher.

Kojak sucked on lollipops. And Kojak was da man before there was da man

[fishy]

Originally Posted by PSYCtest040

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free arse passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are poofter.

That's what I keep telling the girls. Men can only see 16 colors (like those old cga monitors). Chatreuse, Malve and Aubergine are NOT colors! :)

[fdnyemt5330]

Originally Posted by fishy

That's what I keep telling the girls. Men can only see 16 colors (like those old cga monitors). Chatreuse, Malve and Aubergine are NOT colors! :)

Right now, I am knocking back a DAB ( Dortmunder Acten Brauerei) and am planning on chasing it w/ a Laphroaig, so #1 doesn't apply....

[fishy]

Originally Posted by fdnyemt5330

Right now, I am knocking back a DAB ( Dortmunder Acten Brauerei) and am planning on chasing it w/ a Laphroaig, so #1 doesn't apply....

Why would anyone want to drink that. Yuck. I'll take the Laphroigh though.
I don't know if they sell this in the US, but should you ever get your hand on "Rothaus Bräu - Tannenzäpfle" (I know, right?), try it. It the bomb.

[fdnyemt5330]

Originally Posted by fishy

Why would anyone want to drink that. Yuck. I'll take the Laphroigh though.
I don't know if they sell this in the US, but should you ever get your hand on "Rothaus Bräu - Tannenzäpfle" (I know, right?), try it. It the bomb.

I like the Schlenkerla smoke beers too.

[medic pathetic]

[QUOTE=fdnyemt5330;108218]Kojak sucked on lollipops. And Kojak was da man before there was da man[/QUOTE.

For a moment, I thought you said KOJOFF. My next question was 'how the heck do you know?!'

[kojoff]

[quote=medic pathetic;108233]

Originally Posted by fdnyemt5330

Kojak sucked on lollipops. And Kojak was da man before there was da man[/QUOTE.

For a moment, I thought you said KOJOFF. My next question was 'how the heck do you know?!'

Hey! I am da man!!!! At least when my wife lets me be da man!!! She knows I wear the pants around my house... she just picks out which ones!

[lerue]

I love cats, I could not eat a whole one but....


this does not mean I am a shirtlifter.